Human Pin Cushion

Tuesday I had a Cat Scan as well as finally clearing the port.  It was my first introduction to my new life at the Oncology Clinic or "the Chemo Store" as we refer to it now.  It was very evident that I was the new girl since I was the only one with hair and I felt as if  all eyes were on me.  I can not get my mind off of the little 6yr old boy that walked in holding his teddy bear in one hand and his moms hand in the other.  That could have been my daughter and it scared me. Wednesday I went to see my surgeon for my final follow up. He said everything looked good and he does not need to see me again for another year.

Today I went to Mercy Hospital and had a Muga Scan - Multiple Uptake Gated Acquisition Scan. It took them 5 sticks to get the IV started just to get to the scan.  The scan took pictures of my heart while it was pumping to see how well my heart pumps the blood now.   They are trying to ensure that I can handle the chemo on the first round because one of the drugs they are giving me (Adriamycin) is a very thick and powerful toxin that is often called "The Red Devil".  Sounds nice, huh?  I have so much to look forward to in the next 6 months that I can hardly stand it.

1st Oncology Visit

Another adventure today.  Had my first appointment with Dr. Rosenfeld and he seems really nice.  His nurse Aimee was also very sweet and he was not playing around when he said he wants to go aggressive with my treatment.  I will start my chemo on Oct 22nd.  The first phase will be once every other week for 8wks.  I am told to expect to be sick on day 2, 3, and 4, as well as fatigue and hair loss.  I know I mention that part a lot but that is the part that is breaking me down. The second phase will be once a week for 12 weeks.  Once that is all over I will start radiation. I am also going to be included in a clinical study because I am triple negative which in cancer lingo means I am negative in all the receptor categories (hoping I am explaining that right).  I will also do the genetic testing to see if I am a carrier for the Cancer gene.  I talked to the dr about my memory loss since I feel like I am forgetting everything.  He attributes that to the stress.  Lucky for me they have medicine for that.  In fact, I walked out with a pad of scripts. Tomorrow is another day of dr visits-I am having a cat scan done and that is when they will flush the port. Wednesday is my final follow up with my surgeon.

So much to think about and so may fears.  More updates later.

Resting

Today is another day of resting.  It seems as if that is all I do these days.  I started off this morning by getting fitted for a therapeutic compression sleeve for my arm.  The sleeve is to protect from getting lymphedema because of the lymph node system that was affected.  I have to wear it when I do any type of house cleaning that is a repetitive motion (dusting, sweeping, using the vacuum, painting, etc) as well as anytime I fly in an airplane.  I have to be careful and protect myself from bug bites as well as cuts anywhere on my left arm/hand.  I had no idea that this was something I would have to worry about for the rest of my life.  So much to think about it gets overwhelming.

Tomorrow I am going to get out for the first time since my last surgery (for something other than a dr appt).  Bryan and I are going to the Razorback game and I am really looking forward to it.  I can't tailgate all day like we normally do but I will meet up with the group later in the afternoon.  My sister and brother in law know how much I love to go to the game so they are staying home to watch Kaitlyn (we did not have anyone to watch her and would not have been able to go).  It means a lot to me that they are sacrificing the game so I can go and have a good time.  So thankful for that.

Go Hogs Go

Exhausting Day

Today started out rough and continued throughout the day.  I woke up early this morning and was not feeling well.  Apparently the pain pills are starting to show some wicked side effects and I wake up most mornings with nausea as well as spend a lot of nights struggling to sleep.  I have managed to cut back on the pain pills and only take them before bed and when I wake up which causes some pain throughout the day.  

Because I was sick this morning and feeling overwhelmed, I let my emotions get the best of me and I cancelled my plans and decided to just stay in bed.  My sister Ilene decided to come over anyway and sit with me and when I started to feel better, she took me out.  First Stop-The Cancer House!  Aside from the day I was diagnosed with Cancer, this was one of the toughest days I endured throughout this ordeal.  I received a lot more information to help me and my family through my journey as well as picked out 2 wigs to consider.  Just the thought of it all makes me sick.  My vanity has been shred into tiny pieces and I fell apart in front of people I had never met before.  The 2 ladies working there were very nice and were extremely sympathetic to me and my situation but it was hard to act like I was not bothered by it all-because I am and I am pissed about it!  I tried to act like it was not a big deal but putting on that first wig was a very emotional moment for me as I am sure it is for other men and women that go through this same thing.  I just keep asking-why me?  I managed to pull it together and get through all of the errands that I have been putting off for the past few weeks and then rested until I had to pick up the kids from school.

Cherie came over again tonight and brought some hair swatches and a catalog of wigs that can be ordered from her stylist.  Again, very overwhelming but needs to get done and glad Cherie thought to do that for me.  

Bryan left for OKC this morning and I am just thankful I remembered to feed the kids dinner and make sure both had a bath tonight.  I feel like I am losing my mind and things are slipping by me that normally would not.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow!

Surgeon Update

Went to see Dr. Friesen and he was very pleased with how things were going and how I was healing.  I don't have to go back to see him until the 23rd. Luckily, he was not mad at me for removing the drain tube early.  Since Bryan was traveling with work and I was not able to drive, my friend Tina Beyer took me and helped take notes and ask questions. Dr Friesen confirmed the pathology report with what he had already told me over the phone. He also told me that Breast Cancer in young women is the most aggressive kind of cancer. Although he is confident he did remove what was there and enough margin around it, he said there is no guarantee that it would not come back.  I like the fact that he is so upfront and honest with me yet encouraging at the same time. Because he removed 26 lymph nodes, I have to be very careful on the left side to avoid lymphodema. Alot of women that have breast cancer tend to get this if they have had alot of lymph nodes removed.  I have to get fitted for a pressure sleeve next week to reduce swelling if it occurs.

I officially have my first appt with the oncologist on Sept 21st.  We will talk about my plan of action to kill this toxin that invaded me as well as flush the port that was put in during surgery. I am also scheduled next week to get all the flu shots available.  I am considered high risk now so I qualify for the "swine Flu" shot and the other flu shots before anyone else.  

The meds that I am on are still making me tired.  I have no energy and all I want to do is lay in bed.  I get worn out just from going to the dr.  I remember the good old days when I used to pull all nighters or at least stay up past 9:00.  I am starting to get frustrated because I cant do all the things I used to do or do them as fast as I normally would.  If I have learned anything from this it is that I have to slow down.....that is going to be a work in progress.

Labor Day Weekend

I feel alive again.  Recovering from surgery and actually stayed awake all day. Spent the weekend laying around resting and had some visitors stop by. We spent Sunday evening with the Kelly's and had dinner cooked by Zachary.  He is turning out to be quite the griller.  Today Christy Turner (a friend of ours) and my in-laws came to hang out for awhile-had a great time. Also had a great visit with the Harrison's (Kassi, Derrick, and sweet baby Ryann).  It was good to see everyone.

I am looking forward to a normal week (as normal as it can be).  Bryan is doing some traveling so I will have some "babysitters" come by and hang out with me and help out with the kids.  My brother in law gets first shift followed by my sister. Tina is assigned for Wednesday and gets to take me to the doctor and then my honey comes back on Thursday.  My sister will take the kids to school for me this week so I can spend the day relaxing.  Thank goodness for all the help I am receiving.  I really cold not do this without the help of our friends and family.  I will update more after my follow up doctor appt.

Surgery Update

Wow-Hard to believe it is Friday already.  Surgery went well on Monday and I have been at home resting since then.  The medicine they gave me pretty much knocks me out so this is the first chance I have had to update my blog!  Once again Bryan has been great and has taken good care of me as well as everything that needs to be done around the house.  Dr Friesen removed 26 lymph nodes under my arm, removed a 1.5cm tumor in my left breast, and placed my port in for my chemo treatments.  I am still very sore and tired but doing better everyday.

I have had many calls and visits from friends that really care about me.  I had no idea some of my friends were such great cooks :).  Everyone is taking such great care of my family and making sure they are fed while I am recovering. Kudos to the Lasagna (Christy), Spaghetti (Cheridyth), and enchiladas (Lisa). I will definitely need to get these recipes and make it when I am up to it.  Guess box dinners wont cut it anymore!

Spent last weekend with some great friends (The Kelly's and the Bode's).  We had a bbq and they tried to keep my mind off of the surgery on Monday.  It was much appreciated.  I feel like I am jumping all over the place but my mind is running wild.  Went to the doctor for a follow up visit today.  Unfortuntely, the drain tube was not able to be removed so it looks like it will be with me until Tue or Wed.  The nurse did tell me I would still need several weeks to heal before the chemo starts.  Good news is she said it would work out to start as soon as we got back from Mexico (this was the trip for the kids during their fall break from school).  I did not think we would still get to go but the Doctor said I could still go and that it will be good to get away. Bad news is that the nurse reminded me of the hair loss and reality is starting to really settle in.  I did not handle that well at all today.  It is just hair right?  So why am I so freaked out by it?  My emotions are running all over the place and today has been an emotional one.

Last night Alex told me that he heard from a friend that I had Cancer.  I was so shocked and not ready to have that conversation at all.  Luckily Bryan was in the room with me and took over. We only told Alex I was sick because we were unsure how he would handle it all.  Bryan explained to him that I did have Cancer but I dont have it anymore.  He reassured Alex that they took it out.  He also told him I was getting better everyday.

more updates later....