Here is to a New Year

Its been awhile since I blogged last and it has been a busy 2 weeks. After the blood transfusion, I was feeling great. I had another round of chemo on the 17th and the 24th. We even came home from Chemo and made a Christmas Dinner. During those 2 weeks, I finished my shopping, cooked dinners, went to holiday parties, took the kids to the movies, and just felt myself again. You tend to take alot of those things for granted until you cant do it anymore. It was so nice and I enjoyed every minute of the precious time I had and was so thankful to be well enough during the holidays so I could participate with the kids. To say the very least, I did not stop. The snow we had was an added bonus. I am also happy to report that after todays chemo, I am officially over the hump and on the downhill slide. 11 weeks down and 9 to go. Target date for the last treatment is scheduled for March 5th.

My luck did run out and it caught up with me. I got very sick the day after Christmas and today is the first day I am feeling better. I had to wait out the weekend and called the Oncology Clinic on Monday. They were able to see me and said I had a sinus infection. My nose had been bleeding for days but some of it was the infection and some could be a side effect from the chemo. I got some antibiotics and went home since my blood counts were not concerning. They suggested I stay for fluids but we had the kids and after being there for 2 1/2 hrs I was willing to wait it out and see what happened. My throat was also hurting but we attributed it to the drainage. By that night, I realized very quickly it was not my throat but my neck muscles (or lymphnodes in my neck) and I was having a hard time catching my breath when I got out of bed. By Tuesday, my neck muscles hurt so bad that I could not even get up or roll without feeling like my muscles were tightening up and I was out of breath just walking to the kitchen. For fear of what could happen and the unknown of what was going on, we went to the ER. I had another infection and I got a shot of an antibiotic as well as another antibiotic to take home. I feel like I can open up a pharmacy at my house with all the meds I am taking. They are thinking the muscle pain is from the chemo and it is common to have arthritis/muscle pain but not usually in the neck area. The dr in the Emergency Room seems to think the pain radiated in my neck from the infection that I had( I am not so convinced but I dont have M.D. behind my name). Needless to say, Wednesday I got sick from all the drugs in my system so I was worried I would not be well enough to have chemo today. Luckily, I woke up much better and off we went. The DR advised me to stay away from large populated areas, movies, schools, etc and to not compromise my health if I did not absolutely have to. So homebound I am to get my immunities back up (but not for long). I will get out again once everyone is back in school and less people are out.

So Cheers to a New Year in 2010. May we all have lots of good health, love and happiness coming our way.

A Great Day

The last several posts seem very negative so I am happy to report that I am having a great day today (and yesterday). I actually got out of the house today and went to the grocery store (with husband in tow), dropped off the kids for school, picked them up, wrapped a few gifts, helped with homework, and cooked dinner. It has been a long time since I was able to say the famous 3 words....Dinner is ready! What a feeling it is to be back in the land of the living. Bryan says he is happy to have his wife back and I am thrilled to be back-even for a short time. I laughed today and it felt good to appear normal. I feel like I got so much accomplished today and I feel in control again. I love it.

I have a muga scan follow up scheduled for tomorrow. They are checking to make sure that the chemo regimen I was taking did not damage my heart. It is protocol before they can start the second regimen since the one I was doing is known to cause heart damage. The second regimen (Taxol) starts Friday and will continue for 12 weeks. The side effects are supposed to be minimal compared to what I have been through for the past 8 weeks. I dont expect a cake walk but do expect to function alot better than I have been. I have enjoyed my naps but I am hoping those days are gone-I have too much to do.

I am looking forward to the Holiday parties at school this week and then spending 2 weeks at home with the kids. Happy Holidays to everyone!

What a week

Interesting for sure. Had my last round of the bad chemo and something told me to prepare myself. I left the chemo chair feeling unsettled and my nurse Karen (not my normal nurse but a great one) asked me to come back on Fri for IV fluids. She thought it would help me feel better and keep from dehydrating. I still did not feel better after the fluids so she asked me to come in on Monday if I was still sick over the weekend. By Monday I was worse and Bryan had to convince me to get out of bed and go to the chemo store. Katie (my regular nurse) took one look at me and off we went. Fluids were pumped in and I was hopeful. All of a sudden, things just got weird and I did not feel right. My blood counts dropped and my blood pressure was dangerously low. Next thing I remember was getting a shot to kick in my red blood count and being sent to the hospital for cross matching. I was so weak I had to be in a wheelchair. I was sent home after the blood tests and had to be back at 8:00 Tue morning for a blood transfusion. Bryan was scheduled to leave that morning and he could not do it so he cancelled his work trip to be with me. It took 9 hours to get all the blood I needed. Once again I was sent home and told I would feel better in about 24 hours which I did, but still not great. I am so thankful I am done with the worst of the chemo and ready to start the weekly doses that are not supposed to be as hard. I feel like I am missing out on so much and it is getting harder and harder to stay positive. I have been blessed with great people that have been there for me through it all and have seen me through the worst of this. Now if I can just get well enough to get out and start shopping for Christmas-I would be a happy camper.

Good and Bad

Finally have enough energy to update-well not really but I am forcing myself to do it. This round kicked my butt and I am still trying to fully recover from it. Once again-they are going to make a change and hope for better results on this round. I have been nauseated off and on and had mouth sores all down my throat so it makes it hard to eat (and dont eat that much). Believe it or not-my metabolism has shut down due to low activity and I have managed to retain all of the fluid from the chemo and have gained 12lbs in 3weeks. Are you kidding me...12 freakin' lbs!!!! I am so NOT happy about that at all. Needless to say-I get to start taking a pill that will help get rid of the fluid build up. Also, they are putting me on an anxiety/depression pill. Guess I need it-so says the doctor and I think I have to agree at this point!

Good news is that tomorrow I will have my last red devil injection and the last bad round of chemo. WOOHOO--I did it! Thanks again to all my friends and family that continue to come and sit with me at the chemo store. The laughs get me through the crazy ordeal. Dec 18th I will start the 12 weeks of Taxol which is a lower regimen and given once a week. Less severe side effects associated with it but alot of possible allergic reactions so I have to take over the counter meds before/during/after the treatment (benadryl & Zantac) to help prevent them. I am praying I wont be sick and that it will be easier to handle. Although I have had great people helping me with the kids, running my errands, and cooking meals, I am ready to get control of my life back.

I went for my labwork today and counts are good. Also found out that if I decide to do the bi-lateral mastectomy, I would save myself 7 weeks of daily radiation. Pretty excited about that. I know what I need to do but I have some time to figure it all out and determine what is best. I am leaning towards the bi-lateral mastectomy. Stay tuned for what may happen next....every day is a new day!

Test Results Are In

Well, definitely not the results I was hoping for. I found out today that I did test positive for the Cancer Gene BRCA1. A mutation or alteration in the BRCA1 causes most cases of hereditary breast and ovarian cancer (HBOC). HBOC syndrome increases the risk of various cancers (and recurrences) but primarily attack breast and ovarian. The kids also have a 50% chance that I have passed it down to them. My next step is to consider my options of a mastectomy as well as a hysterectomy since the risks of recurrence now are very high. Not sure I am willing to do nothing and risk the cancer coming back with a vengance. Looks like I won't be able to "save the Ta-Ta's" after all. So much to think about and so many other unanswered questions. Unfortunately, I was too upset at the Dr's office to think of the questions that I now have.

Labwork today was really good. Overall, the best it has been since I started the chemo. Got the thumbs up to start round 3 tomorrow. Few minor tweaks again and hoping the nausea won't be as bad this time. Dr. Rosenfeld told me that I am doing the hardest regimen of chemo that there is and he is very pleased at how my body is tolerating it all. Not sure I agree with him but I guess other people don't do so well. I am hoping to be up and recovered by Thanksgiving because my entire family is coming into town.

Another Round Over

I am finally well enough to post again. The treatments this round made me sick most of the week. I did not get the other side effects from the first round (thanks to the tweaking) but I have been nauseated and felt yucky all week. I got out yesterday for the first time and was able to watch Kaitlyn ride her horse during Horses For Healing. It was such a beautiful thing to see. Unfortunately when I got home, it kicked in again and I was down the rest of the day/night. I'm hoping for additional tweaks on the next round because I am not good with the sick feeling all the time. Luckily, Bryan was home most of this week so my mom was only here for a day. Dinners are still being provided 3 days a week and that has been a huge help and one less thing I have to worry about. Thanks again to everyone that has helped out and have come by to hang out with me "in the bed" even if I am sleeping.

I also decided to get the genetic testing done to see if I am a carrier for the cancer gene (mutation as it is called). I will have those results Wednesday. If I carry the gene, it will help determine what steps will be taken next in order to ensure there wont be a re occurrence. If I test positive, I have a 67% chance that this could happen again and the kids have a 50% chance that I have passed the gene to them. I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Today is my 11th anniversary. Hard to believe that 12 1/2 yrs ago I met my husband in a Dale Carnegie Class. Very ironic as we celebrate this year that I remember the vows we took to love honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, until death us do part. I am so thankful he meant it.

Reality sets in

Today was the day that confirmed the reality of what I have been going through for the past 3 months. Today is the day my hair started falling out. Through this entire process, this was the hardest for me emotionally. I have waited anxiously for this day and thought I was fully prepared for what was about to happen. I thought I had come to terms with the hair loss and was ready to just get it over with-then it happened and I don't feel so ready.

Since I started my meds last weekend for all the infections I had, I have felt great. I have had 4 days of feeling somewhat normal again other than just being tired. I took advantage of those days and enjoyed the little things that I would normally take for granted. I actually braved the outside world yesterday and went to hang out with a dear friend and even went out to lunch.

I went to have my lab work done today and to meet with the oncologist to talk about the side effects from my last treatment and see what we would do differently for the treatment tomorrow. Luckily, my White Blood Counts were back up to 7.2 which is normal. They were at a 2.2 last week when I was sick. They are going to make a few changes to "my regimen" and use less steroids which they are hoping will decrease the side effects I had last time. They are also hoping my counts wont drop so low and that my immune system will stay up.

keeping my fingers crossed!