Plain and Simple

Plain and simple.....This sucks! I am ready for this to all be over with but the reality is that it has just begun.  I spent the early morning trying to work and act as if nothing had changed and then went to shop for things that I will need after my surgery.  I shutter when the cashier looks at me and asks me how I am doing today.  If I told her the truth-it might scare her so I give the standard answer she wants to hear.  I feel like everyone is staring at me as if they already know but reality is you can't see Cancer.  I am sure it will get easier with time.

What an emotional Roller Coaster this has been. I have gone from mad, to sad, to angry, to feeling guilty and everything in between. Mad that it happened to me-why me?  Sad because I am scared of what will happen or what could happen. Angry that I am being tested. Why was I chosen to go through this after we have already been through alot this year with other life changes that were out of our control. Guilty that I am putting my family through all of this. Bryan has been my rock and I could not do this without him or the kids. This is a huge adjustment for all of us.  

Spent the evening with a great friend (shout out Van) who let me hit on all the emotions that I needed to and did not judge me for it.  All in all...it was a good day!

Tomorrow I am going up to the school to volunteer for the last time (for awhile).  The school has been amazing and staff have been extremely supportive of my situation.  My kids are very lucky to be blessed with wonderful people in their lives.