Test Results Are In

Well, definitely not the results I was hoping for. I found out today that I did test positive for the Cancer Gene BRCA1. A mutation or alteration in the BRCA1 causes most cases of hereditary breast and ovarian cancer (HBOC). HBOC syndrome increases the risk of various cancers (and recurrences) but primarily attack breast and ovarian. The kids also have a 50% chance that I have passed it down to them. My next step is to consider my options of a mastectomy as well as a hysterectomy since the risks of recurrence now are very high. Not sure I am willing to do nothing and risk the cancer coming back with a vengance. Looks like I won't be able to "save the Ta-Ta's" after all. So much to think about and so many other unanswered questions. Unfortunately, I was too upset at the Dr's office to think of the questions that I now have.

Labwork today was really good. Overall, the best it has been since I started the chemo. Got the thumbs up to start round 3 tomorrow. Few minor tweaks again and hoping the nausea won't be as bad this time. Dr. Rosenfeld told me that I am doing the hardest regimen of chemo that there is and he is very pleased at how my body is tolerating it all. Not sure I agree with him but I guess other people don't do so well. I am hoping to be up and recovered by Thanksgiving because my entire family is coming into town.

Another Round Over

I am finally well enough to post again. The treatments this round made me sick most of the week. I did not get the other side effects from the first round (thanks to the tweaking) but I have been nauseated and felt yucky all week. I got out yesterday for the first time and was able to watch Kaitlyn ride her horse during Horses For Healing. It was such a beautiful thing to see. Unfortunately when I got home, it kicked in again and I was down the rest of the day/night. I'm hoping for additional tweaks on the next round because I am not good with the sick feeling all the time. Luckily, Bryan was home most of this week so my mom was only here for a day. Dinners are still being provided 3 days a week and that has been a huge help and one less thing I have to worry about. Thanks again to everyone that has helped out and have come by to hang out with me "in the bed" even if I am sleeping.

I also decided to get the genetic testing done to see if I am a carrier for the cancer gene (mutation as it is called). I will have those results Wednesday. If I carry the gene, it will help determine what steps will be taken next in order to ensure there wont be a re occurrence. If I test positive, I have a 67% chance that this could happen again and the kids have a 50% chance that I have passed the gene to them. I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Today is my 11th anniversary. Hard to believe that 12 1/2 yrs ago I met my husband in a Dale Carnegie Class. Very ironic as we celebrate this year that I remember the vows we took to love honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, until death us do part. I am so thankful he meant it.

Reality sets in

Today was the day that confirmed the reality of what I have been going through for the past 3 months. Today is the day my hair started falling out. Through this entire process, this was the hardest for me emotionally. I have waited anxiously for this day and thought I was fully prepared for what was about to happen. I thought I had come to terms with the hair loss and was ready to just get it over with-then it happened and I don't feel so ready.

Since I started my meds last weekend for all the infections I had, I have felt great. I have had 4 days of feeling somewhat normal again other than just being tired. I took advantage of those days and enjoyed the little things that I would normally take for granted. I actually braved the outside world yesterday and went to hang out with a dear friend and even went out to lunch.

I went to have my lab work done today and to meet with the oncologist to talk about the side effects from my last treatment and see what we would do differently for the treatment tomorrow. Luckily, my White Blood Counts were back up to 7.2 which is normal. They were at a 2.2 last week when I was sick. They are going to make a few changes to "my regimen" and use less steroids which they are hoping will decrease the side effects I had last time. They are also hoping my counts wont drop so low and that my immune system will stay up.

keeping my fingers crossed!

Update from today's earlier blog

So I am not crazy! I feel much better about that. Been down all week and was bothered by it all since I expected to be much better by now. My chemo nurse called to check on me and when I told her what was going on with me-she asked me to come in and have some lab work to check my blood counts. I am so glad I did. My white blood counts and iron are still low but I also have a viral and a bacterial infection. I knew I was struggling with eating and swallowing and the back of my throat hurt so bad but I thought it was part of the mouth sores so I dealt with it (complained alot but dealt with it). Thought that was why I was so fatigued also. Boy was I wrong. I am now on another antibiotic as well as medicine for thrush. seriously can anything else go wrong? Really!

Still Recovering

Well, seems odd to me that I am still a little under the weather with the first treatment. I know they told me the first one would be the worst but since I handled it so well at the beginning, I thought it would not last so long. Unfortunately I am still experiencing the side effects and struggle with food since the side effects seem to change constantly. I now have the mouth sores as well as night sweats and heat flashes and still alternate between the metal taste in my mouth. Still very fatigued but realized that all the meds I get for the side effects-cause drowsiness. My immune system is very low which is why the nurse said I got the mouth sores so early. Apparently my body was fighting an infection before I started the chemo and my white blood counts were already low. I have been hibernating in the house for a week to ensure that I do not catch anything from getting out in the stores. My nurse reassured me that all of this is normal and to expect to be "off" until day 10 due to the adriamycin ( the red devil). So I should be close to normal by Monday or Tuesday so I can start all over again on Thursday. She said this is the worst of it and when I start my weekly treatments on Taxol, it will be easier. I hope she is right. I hate asking for help.

My clinical Trial nurse called yesterday to check on me to see if I am getting any of the additional side effects from the clinical Study I am doing. Aside from all the other treatments, I am also getting Avastin every 3 weeks for a year. It is currently in a clinical study (with few side effects) to see if it reduces existing tumors. For those of us that are triple negative and have already had the tumors removed, they are testing it to see if it helps minimize the odds of any cancer cells returning after the treatments are done. At this point, I will do anything that could ensure I never have to go through this again.

Mom left yesterday and I was so glad that Bryan was able to make it home with all of the weather delays. Alex is feeling better and back to normal and Kaitlyn woke up at 5:oo this morning with a cough and not feeling well so I have a new "bed buddy" today. Hope she feels better because she is so excited to go trick or treating tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween.

I did it.

I made it through my first round of chemo. I am so happy to report that I did not get the vomiting that normally is associated with chemo treatments. I was a little sick the first few days but took all the meds they prescribed for me and they helped a lot. I did endure several of the side effects that they mentioned I would get but I am handling it all ok. The worst of it is over but the metal taste in my mouth I still cant seem to get rid of. Nothing sounds good to eat so I am struggling getting food into my body. Eating Lemon Drops does help but does not take it away completely. Aside from the fatique, anemia, low blood pressure, and skin irritation from the steroids, I am resting comfortably. I am also experiencing bone pains (from the nuelasta shot on Fri. that goes directly to my Bone Marrow to increase my white blood counts). I am feeling relieved to have gotten past the first round. Thanks Tiff for visiting me during my first treatment and to everyone that has contacted us to make sure we were ok.

and so it began.....

I was greeted at the chemo store by a smiling face named Katie (how appropriate). She was my friends nurse when he went through his treatments last year and he contacted her and asked if she would make sure to pick me as her "patient of the day" and take care of me. She has been amazing and has made this horrible process a little more bearable. Thank you Matt for being here for me even though you are a state away.

It is 11:15am and I have been doing my treatment now for over 2 hours. All of the pre-meds have been injected through IV in my port and the first round of "the red devil" was successfully hand injected by a long syringe. That was the hardest to watch knowing what the side effects are and what was going to happen next. Bryan has been here with me every step of the way and he has been my biggest fan. I also had a visit during my treatment from a good friend of mine as well as many texts last night and this morning to wish me well. I am very touched by the outpour of love that I am receiving.

My eyes are getting blurry and it is harder to type so I will post more later.